Saturday, May 21, 2011

Get your MAD on!...

Disclaimer: Sorry about this but I've just got to get this off my um, chest...

I have had a 'mad on' all week. I'm desperately looking for a way to get rid of it. So, I thought I'll pass it on to the unsuspecting people who read my blog.

It all started over last weekend when we had a taken a combined school field trip and family trip to Cleveland. Details not withstanding, we came home with a not so happy 14 year old.

I thought to solve her problem and cure my grump by doing some retail therapy for us both. WRONG!

Long story short...We bought Alexa a phone, but she wasn't happy, mom became even MORE unhappy, dad just shook his head. But the bottom line is I've been a *b*itch all the rest of the week and still can feel some twinges now. I started last weekend out like this..

...and finished the week - and am still smoldering like this...The only thing I like about the second image is I kinda look good in a bikini for the first time in 40 years. But the rest, Alexa doesn't want to ride in the car with me as I scared the bejessus out of her last night - but back to me.

Like the plots of many of the Incredible Hulk shows, I started out mild mannered and then something ticked me off. Well, I've gone through the week as the Hulk and like poor Hulky-poo even when I tried to do good, something would happen to tick me off again and again and again and AGAIN!

I could have beaten Lou Ferrigno out for the original part and wouldn't have needed the green makeup - I was already that way! My only consolation in all this is I got a new iPhone - been jonesing one of these for a long, long time. HOWEVER - I have already had to buy a new protective case because I dropped the phone before even owning it 72 hours, have spent at least $35 on how to books because I can't get the danged thing to work (my own personal internal techno chip is obsolete and they don't make a replacement part) and I have to spend the better part of today or a day in the very near future figuring out how to download or just manually enter all my calendar appointments on to my new phone.

OK, Maybe I'm being a little over the top here. Maybe this can be turned around to a positive experience. Do you think the networks would buy a pilot of a middle aged housewife with a teenaged daughter who turns into the Incredible Female Hulk? Maybe we could get Sela Ward to play me. That would make me feel better!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

American Made...

I don't like to buy American made cars. Now I know why. We have too much in common.

You drive an American made car until you hit a mystery mileage point and boom! it starts to break down. Well, I hit 50 and like those cars in the driveways across the country - I started breaking down. I'm starting to feel and look like this classic...

I think we were even made in the same year (or close to it).My hair won't curl and the color is gone, the eyes don't work, my ears are giving me trouble, my skin is giving me grief, my plumbing needs work and my temperature controls are STILL are still out of whack even after the major repair work done last year!

I don't even want to talk about my system's internal control. My RAM - random access memory is definitely that - random. It works when it wants to and when it doesn't I need something to jump start it.

I wonder, am I on my way to being a 'reconditioned' model? I wonder what my CARFAX report would look like!