Saturday, January 8, 2011

No Photos, Please!!!...

I'm thinking of becoming a horror movie star. Yeah, really...You oldsters might know of Lon Chaney, especially if you stay up late and watch TCM or AMC. Anyway, Lon Chaney was known as the man of a thousand faces (also the name of a movie about his life) because he used make-up to create so many characters - many of them horror quality - think the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Well, I think I can out-do him (at least this month) without any make-up at all! My face is falling apart. Not to be un-done by my body, my face has decided to become it's own horror mask. From the top down:

My Hair - don't look too close or you'll see my beautiful gray hair mixed with my drab dirty blonde hair. Of course, it's tipped with my 'wish it was natural blonde' that is growing out way too quickly. To top it off, my hair has decided to go to sleep and is straight as a board and does not want to curl, hold a curl and laughs in the face of styling mousse and a curling iron.

My Eyes - Paul Newman is so safe...(God Bless) I never had his baby blues to begin with, mine are a drab gray blue. But my real problem - let's just say John Paul Jones couldn't have said, 'Don't fire until you see the white's of her eyes!" Mine are redder than Santa's suit! I had pink eye a few weeks ago and I looked like something from Twilight and just for fun the deep red keeps recuring, just to make me look weird!

My Ears - My ears itch like crazy! I cannot leave them alone! Nuf said...

My Nose - I've had a rash like dry skin on both sides of my nose for it seems like forever. Last week a friend told me she thought it was eczema! The good news is now I have a handle on WTF is going on, the bad news is how do I get rid of it?

My Lips - Welcome to winter! Chapped lips rule!

Put it all together and you have a horror mask that would do Lon Chaney proud! Everyone else, I don't think so and I'll apologize now. Well at least it's another good reason not to have my picture taken...


L. F. Chaney said...

Trust me, you are no Quasimodo, regardless of how you may look.

Incidentally, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" is not a horror movie. It's a dramatic love story. One must never judge another solely by their appearance, as things are seldom as they seem. The real monsters of the Victor Hugo classic are ignorance, hatred, vengeance, jealousy and corruption.

Have a most pleasant New Year.

Yours truly,

L. C.

jolan said...

Hi Donna, The mittens are made of soap. Have a great day and thanks for visiting my blog.
JOlanda Meurs Netherlands

Tracy said...

Oh, Donna! You silly girl. I think you're beautiful inside and out. So there.
FYI... I know a young college student who dreams of breaking into the horror film industry. Maybe I could hook you up. lol