Monday, March 10, 2008

The Grand Canyon...

Since I can't seem to keep a coherent thought in my head, I thought I'd let them all spill loose and inflict them on whoever is reading today.

I just came from a friend's blog and she was very cryptic about making changes, new decisions, directions, etc. without really saying anything. Feel like that today. As I have a number of nowhere similar things going on, I thought I'd do the same!

First, I've had a number of people tell me two things, one, they read my blog - how scary is that! I'm actually taken back when someone I don't know, (usually a customer at the store whom I should know - apologies forthcoming*) says something innocent in passing that just knocks me for a loop! I know people I know read the blog every once in awhile, but that someone who either doesn't know me, or who I don't know reads it, I find slightly spooky!

*Apology - This is a universal apology to all those wonderful people I've met in the course of my daily life - those people I've met through my daughter, my husband, the store, the dentist - whatever! I'm so sorry I never remember you :( Less you think this intentional - or onset Alzheimer's, let me reassure you all that I NEVER remember ANYONE! I'm so lousy with names, faces, wheres, and whens I've just given up and come right out most of the time and say "Do I know you - help me out here?"

(Apology cont.) Not only do I do not remember anyone I meet, once I do have a handle on you - I don't remember your name. You know that trick everyone tells you to use where you associate a name with something about the person? Well, if I'm lucky, really lucky, I might remember what the 'something' was, but never the name. So for everyone out there whose names and faces I'm constantly forgetting, please forgive me. It's never you, it's always me -- what's her face!

Back to ramblings...where was I, oh, yeah, my friend's blog. That part is over so I'm moving on. I am in a rut, not in a Monday morning rut, not a winter rut, not a 'I've gained all the weight I lost, 2 years ago rut' but a big, honkin', call the highway department rut! No, wait, even the highway dept. can't help this. Can you all say Grand Canyon rut???

I've been 'straightening, cleaning, organizing, etc. and so on' my craft room for the past, at least, 8 months - that's right 8 months! I could be one month away from having a baby! I could have finished a full college semester! I could have lost the weight I was complaining about above!

I have pictures, but I'm too embarrassed to show them. I've got the number of 'Clutter Control' sitting on my desk (under at least four other scraps of paper I've been holding on to for over a month). I've made lists. I've bought shelves (can't bring myself to put them up). I've come into this room every morning and just stared at it all, powerless to do anything substantial, except...wait for it...BRING IN MORE STUFF!

Now that I've confessed I'm sitting back and thinking, "Did it help? Do I feel better now that I've barred my soul, in writing, for the world wide web to read?"

My answer is...."NOPE!" Still in rut, still waiting for the epiphany of energy and inspiration to kick me in the butt and get me going.

I digress. I scrolled up and mentioned that there were two things that surprised me when people read my blog. The second things is, in comments and in person I've been told that I'm funny. Who knew?

These comments strike me as so bizarre, because I'm terrible with people! I'm awful at parties, I'm never the one people want to talk to. I'm a lousy conversationalist. As my DH has told me since almost Day 1, "Babe, tact will never be your strong suit". Boy is he right, but that's another rambling entry...

I'm rarely, if ever, funny in person. I thought I spoke like I wrote. Apparently not because it's not translating the same. It also doesn't help when I don't know who I'm talking to or who I was introduced to 30 seconds ago either. When someone tells me my blog is funny, I have visions of being Erma Bombeck, reincarnated (no offense to Erma - I really admired her sense of humor). I have visions of grandeur. Maybe I missed my calling all together. I could be a writer! Have a daily column, be the new, old, Erma Bombeck...break out of my rut!!!

Wait, I see a big series of pot holes coming up...Did I mention my grammar is awful, that I'm not a people person, that my sense of tact is non-existent, that I'm living in the Grand Canyon...


Chiara said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} you know I know all about ruts we will get through it all

Dimitra said...

Dear Donna,
You make my day when I read your blog. I'm terrible with people's names too and i couldn't have said it better myself.i'm on the verge of alzeimers myself. Keep writting you make all of us that read your blog feel good. I'll see you Friday Love Dimitra. Oh if Elizabeth sees this she'll say start writting in you blog

Lynn said...

well I don't know if this will help you or not but that's my hope....have you heard about Oprah's new book club selection "A New Earth" finding your life's purpose, by Ekhart Tolle? If not I suggest you check it out...tough reading in the beginning but it gets easier and it's very different from anything I've ever read and very enlightening. Just a thought. She also recommends a book by Marianne Williamson called The age of miracles: embracing the new midlife. I ordered it through our local library and will let you know how it if you haven't guessed already I too should join you in the Grand Canyon....maybe we're both there right now (it's a pretty big place I hear). I'm sure it has to do with being in full blown mid-life crisis...don't you?
Can't wait to compare notes at the retreat! Hope you run into smooth roads soon! xo

Tracy said...

Oh, Donna! You make me laugh! I admit - I know all about ruts. Anyway just popping in to say HI. Love, your friend, Tracy; that's T-R-A-C-Y, remember me?!! Ha-Ha.